VIVA 3rd of March 2009

Hey there, well the VIVA is finally fixed. I thought the day would never come. I have been taking it a little easy since I passed it up but now the pressure has begun to build up. I'm getting pretty tensed up especially since my workplace giving me some issues in regards to getting examination leave. Of course it did not help that I was only recently informed of the VIVA dates I guess they must be busy with the upcoming graduation. Oh well so the dates are fixed and I suppose the people who might be in the room to question me left and right will prob b;

Prof.Z
Prof.M
Dekan

I do not know who else. I have no idea what will happen and how to prepare. I was told by someone to be myself and state my case. I will try my best, hoping for the best.Wish me luck!

The next time I post will probably be once I complete the VIVA, so toodles..fingers crossed


...........

I'm glad ...hasn't quite reached just yet..

Hey guys,this is going to be an extremely excruciating post. Ehem..not so much because of the content, more so due to my physical abilities at the moment. Last night, while out with my partner and his friends I had a real embarrassing experience. I literally fell flat on my face..Scrapped my hands, knees-even managed to add some color to my skin with a nice red :( Today my whole body aches not to mention my fingers as I type this. But I shall stop griping now and start my actual content now.

Well, I've got 3 copies of my thesis sitting on my shelf since Saturday. All bind and ready to go. When I was standing at the shop waiting for them to print it and all I was a bucket of emotions. I didn't fell particulary happy..I wasn't glad. I felt I could do more, if only I had a little more time. But how long more could I drag this ...I couldn't I had to bind it. I did. My first thought was to go back and re-check the whole thing but what was the point? All shops were close after this...and I had to be content with whatever I produced so far. Will it be enough I don't know? I don't seem to be measuring enough lately in every part of my life. I've always excelled, its a struggle this time around.

It's been an uphill battle and its not over just yet. Once its passed up, I'll have to wait for my dates..show up for the VIVA and accept whatever comes to me...make necessary changes, that is if I do not fail. I've not even finish everything yet but I've got this feeling in my heart..once I stop being a student, what will I be? I've always been a student, its kind of ironic. I think I'm going to sign up for some English classes, my language is going to the dogs. Instead of improving its getting worse...ain't good. Can't write anymore, it aches. So toodles. Will update once the next stage is over with..Pray for me will ya?


Cher...

Almost There!!!! VIVA here I COME hopefully?

Well, I haven't been here for some time. Seems to be rather a common thing these days. Work has been hectic. Scheduling my time between work and my thesis has been difficult as I have just too much of thing to handle at work. No choice about that. So end up bringing work home every single day thus my thesis work suffers cause I'm busy finishing up on work related matters so I made a decision that enough is enough. If I do not stop this will never end. Work is never going to slow down(if you thought it would you are living in fantasy world!)

So, I devoted every single weekend to my thesis. Eventually I stopped taking work home( I did today cause had a deadline and swamped from 9-5pm at work-but kindda done) and concentrated on my thesis as much as I could. I completed my thesis after Deepavali-just the chapters but it wasn't fully complete- the table of contents, referencing-were all over the place. I had not edited what I had written. So starting early November I have been working on all the polishing,touch-ups and on Sunday I finally completed everything. Nothing left to do, nothing unfinished.

I know it will not be so simple. I probably will have a lot of corrections, hopefully my chapters are alright on the whole. I have not been able to sleep the last few days, worrying about my thesis. I know I should not worry... there is nothing much I can do when I worry but....sigh

I message Prof last night, he did not reply. I guess he must be pissed or annoyed with me. Hehhee...Took a lot of courage to call him and kindda ask him how I was doing....he basically said to me...no news is good news, stop bugging me lol! He can be so cute at times but he is always on the edge in a sense....never knowing how he will react.So unpredicatable susah man! I called him to remind him as my deadline is nearing and although I think he feels sometimes I can do certain things. I have my limitations and not as good as he thinks...hahah if he sees this he gonna belasah me with his powerful words..Buta .kena!

I do know he will make sure that I do my best.. This I know for sure. Like one student told me today, hey your with Prof, what you got to worry about..He is a safe bet..I was like huh what do you mean. She was like his dam gud man! Hhahaha...sure prof bangga wei lolz...
(jgn mareh)

Keeping my fingers crossed. I'm at the last leg of the race. Hopefully with minor corrections I'd be able to sit for my VIVA and be done with it. Of course when VIVA time comes I will be freaking out once again. Had a major meltdown the other day, Prof wasn't too happy about it. But I can't be super emotionless all the time. Esp with the stuff that has been happening of late (kicked out of my house by housemate, hectic work schedule, family issues,thesis pending). So I HAD a meltdown but it is OVER....I'm back! But once VIVA is over with....

I will be so glad.

Glad that I survived. Glad that I did not chicken out. Glad that I'm done and I'm free for now untill I get that itch again telling me to study further...lol...

TIll that day of GLADNESS occurs...I'm praying real hard all goes well. I want to graduate and be done with it! 2 years and 7 months already....I think...I need to grad and move on to the next chapter of my life. GAMBATE!

Cher..

Knowing When to Stop

I've not been able to complete my analysis due to a number of reasons in the past. Most of which revolved around the time frame but more so due to my inability to know when to stop analyzing. With the constant political changes in the country especially since the elections it been practically impossible for me to stop analyzing.How can I? Those changes make the data so rich, so interesting..It's too intriguing to the point that I want so much more.

But there comes a time in every researcher's life when they must know when to stop....and complete her research.....that day has come...


Wish me luck...

Back from the Dead?

Well it's been quite a while since I have posted on this blog. In fact I've been quite silent on the blogging frontier for the last 4 months or so be it in this blog or my personal blog. Reason being the fact that I have been pre-occupied with my new job(back in March). Before I went to silent mode,I was basically trying to cramp every little time I had between my new job,my part-time job and of course completing my thesis within a short time frame. Upon coming to my senses and being given the low-down by Prof Z on the possibility of completing but the standards I was compromising. Thus, I decided against trying to go against time and complete the thesis so that I could graduate by August.

I guess by now you must have realized that I will not be graduating this August. The only drawback to this option I have taken is that I lost about 3 months of solid time as I winded down for a bit(the bit was a little too long as you can see). I put too much attention...I was a little to pre-occupied with my new job so much so that I put my thesis on hold for a very very long time. From preparation of lecture notes to producing and conducting workshops, the workload never ended and I just kept pushing it further. Thus, I finally came to the conclusion that there will never be a time where I will be actually free or be allowed to be free. I guess it is a known fact that if you complete your task in work too soon, there will just give you more to make up for the time.

So here I am, finally having done and completed 4 chapters (Yes, Prof I've edited all the crap I gave you the last time-sowwy!!)with another 1/2 more chapters to go. Analysis is in progress and I hope that by the end of this month I will be done with the chapter on analysis and progress to the discussion and recommendation chapter. Will have to get the great help of Pao Sium to check my work for me, perhaps do some professional editing, check my references-that sort of thing. Get my mum to do some checking on my grammar, typos... I think I'm doing fine now...finally. So perhaps if all goes well March 09-Graduation....Who knows PHD:????? If I do this my thesis well and I mean really well....who knows perhaps I'd be able to deal with the next level, after all teaching is my passion and academic line is what I'm pursuing and how to continue to pursue in the future. So research...research..research!

Status of Pending Thesis

Thank god for miracles!!! As I definitely do not have enough time to complete my thesis(by March), I called up the Communication office and asked how long I could delay the assignment, after all, technically I had a year to complete but due to my eagerness to graduate, my time was cut short! After speaking to the person in-charge, I was told that I could pass it up to the school, latest in early May. Sure beats having to finish by March any time! But a I need to go by Prof.Z will most probably have to finish by April middle., to give them for checking by Prof.

So far, I've already completed 3 full chapters! The first being the Introduction, the next 2 are literature reviews focusing on Malaysia's socio-political background, media control. While the next chapter talked about the constitution, media laws etc. Have already embarked on my fourth chapter, the methodology part and still transcribing the interviews as I go along. It's tough work especially the transcribing. But so far so good! Hopefully Prof Z thinks so too as I have already submitted the first 3 chapters for his approval. Bit worried about typo errors(am famous for them although I do check-sometimes I'm blinded) and the possibility of sounding totally stupid..hahaha..... Oh well, its better to know now rather than later don't ya think?

I think will try to finish chapter 4 and all the interview by middle March and then do the analysis and discussion that follow soon after. That's the plan but we shall see how it goes. With the current political scene which is extremely interesting and has changed the face of Malaysian history and politics...I expect so much more as I complete my thesis in terms of revelations.

-For those of you who are wondering what I'm referring to, do check Malaysiakini.com for updates on Election 2008 in Malaysia that changed history!

Chapter 1+2 Completed

Just finished my chapter 1 and 2. Phew! Still need to check the coherence of information in Chapter 2 as I just finished it minutes ago(its 6.15 am). I don't know why I only can work after midnight to be really productive! Anyway as time is very precious at the moment, can't post much!

Still working on the interviews(transcribing process) and still have one interview left with Anil Netto, we shall see the outcome of this interview and decide whether its necessary to interview further. I think I have enough information from bloggers and even with the lawyers as my information is already saturated. Still no luck with interviews on the state side but managed to get someone from the Ketua Setiausaha Negara office to help out with some information that I needed, the lady there is a darling!! Efficient, helpful-everything a government department personnel should be!

I'm really glad to be in Prof.Adnan class(even though its killing me-the load of reading/work)its thought me a lot on methods of research, gave me a clearer view of things. Hope that contributes positive stuff to my thesis!

Wish me luck for my next chapters!!!! Think I can finish by April? Well pray for me will ya...

p.s- Those following my other blog, really sorry that I haven't been updating it! Been getting feedback about my absence on my cherwith blog, feel bad but I seriously have limited time. Will update as soon as I can. There is just so much to say but to little time to verify information so I rather not post...Be back soon enough!! Sorry!!!